you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I die, sorry about rent.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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