I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
