you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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