my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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