the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
