Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
