the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
