I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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