time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize