I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
