Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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