TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
