worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
