i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
