the new term for farting is butt boxing.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
