Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
