i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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