Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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