we have pet lesbian snakes
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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