I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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