Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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