it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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