Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
