google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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