remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
