Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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