I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
