Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
