Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
