Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
