I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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