His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
