You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
