i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize