dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
