I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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