We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
