I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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