you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
