tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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