girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize