i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You need Xanax blowdarts
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
