well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
