Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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