I feel like abortions should bother me more
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We have so much sex to catch up on
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
