Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
