Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize