He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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