hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
