I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
