Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
