i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize