Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize