Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
