I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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