He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
