It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize