just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
