Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
