I molested 6 butterflies tonight
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize